International Life

Last week at Creme we celebrated the "Week of the Young Child." (One of my coworkers totally made me laugh by saying, "What about the 'Week of the Old Lady?'") We had face painting, a visit from the fire truck, we released balloons into the sky, had a Trike-a-Thon to raise money for St. Jude's Children's Hospital, and there was a book fair at school all week. That is one of my favorite parts of working at Creme--there is always something exciting going on, whether it's associated with a birthday, holiday, or something else we are celebrating. It definitely keeps us busy and on our toes! :)

One of these exciting things I've been wanting to write about is our annual "International Week." We had it in February and it was so so so much fun! Our area is very diverse and so we had lots of backgrounds to celebrate! Out of my 10 kids, the parents of 2 are from Korea, 2 from India, 2 from Puerto Rico, 1 from Lebanon, 1 from Denmark, and 2 from the US. 5 of my kids are bilingual. In our staff 1 is from Jamaica, 1 from Denmark, 1 from Panama, 2 from El Salvador, 1 from Mexico, and 1 from Uzbekistan. I love it! I love all the accents at work, and sometimes I notice myself saying certain words with the accents of the people around me (including the southern accents :) ).

During International Week each class represented a country with decorations, flags, and learning activities. We were Denmark (my coteacher is Danish). Each child had a "passport" that they used to visit the other "countries" and learn about them throughout the week. The school hired dancers, musicians, and a story-teller to visit our school to perform for the kids. We had multiple "Parade of Flags" where each class walked around waving their class's flag. And the best part was the International Night when the kids and parents dressed up in their cultural dress, brought international food, and everyone ate and walked around the school to see the different countries' displays. It was so fun!

And in a similar vein, our neighborhood is very diverse. Our neighbors are from India, Nigeria, Sri Lanka, and Korea. I think we may be the only white American people on our street! :) We look forward to getting to know our neighbors better, they all seem really nice. We've been seeing more of them since the weather has gotten nicer in the last couple months. We love going on walks together around our neighborhood in the evenings. Life is good.

P.S. I have the best class in the history of my teaching career. I love my kids so much and look forward to being with them every day. They are so sweet, cute, good, smart, and funny. My life is good!

Story Time

One of my favorite parts of teaching preschool is making up stories for the kids. Occasionally my stories disappoint, and the kids get disinterested. But other times I can get them to stare wide-eyed at me in anticipation of what's going to come next in the story, and that is sooo fun! It's also fun to try to come up with morals to my stories. The kids usually ask for scary stories, and so I include things like dragons, witches, princesses, jaguars, dungeons, etc in them.

On Monday night this week I had one of those days when I had all the kids' full attention with a story I was making up. Because of this, I tried to drag the story on a little in order to keep the peace in the classroom. It was at least a ten minute story. I didn't think much of it until Wednesday night, when a five-year-old girl that had been in my class on Monday night asked me to tell her a story. I was tired and not exactly in the story-telling mood, and so I said, "I know, how about you tell me a story tonight!" She protested, but eventually gave in and started telling a story.

Well, to my complete and utter amazement, she proceeded to retell the exact story I made up on Monday night!! She remembered the sequence of events, the characters, the wording, and even the gestures I had used when I had told the story! It was jaw-dropping. I don't know if I could have recalled it as well as she did. Here are some words she had remembered me using: kingdom, Greetings!, Bengal tiger, sleeping potion, China (actually, I had used the word "Asia," but still!). I was amazed!

It was so cute to see her tell this story with such excitement and enthusiasm, and it was one of those times when you feel rewarded for what you do.

Trials Make the Heart Grow Stronger

You all know the adage, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Well, I've tweaked that phrase a bit to say, "Trials make the heart grow stronger."

I have had three extremely challenging children in my class over the last eight months, all three of which are no longer in my class. I cannot tell you how grateful and happy I am about this fact! It feels so nice to know that tomorrow most likely none of my children will hit, scream, yell, kick, throw toys, or continually and intentionally try to annoy their classmates or me. I have not had that luxury over the last few months, but now I do, and I am so grateful for it.

This has been such a happy Easter weekend for me as I've looked back over the last 8 months and what I have learned from these three children. Because of the Atonement and Resurrection of Christ, I am able to learn, grow, and progress because of trials rather than be defeated by them. Here is a celebration of 5 ways trials have blessed my life:

1. I have learned how important it is to try really hard to not judge parents or teachers by the behavior of their children. At times I felt judged by my coworkers for the outbursts or behavioral problems of my children, and it was really hard to not feel guilty or down on myself during these times. I am so grateful for a boss that assured me that I was a good teacher despite my kids' problems. On one especially hard day she could tell that I was feeling really down and she said to me firmly, "Do not let this get to your head. You are a good teacher. His problems are not your fault. Don't go there." That meant so much to me. Don't judge. You really don't know what these parents/teachers are going through.

2. I have also learned how important it is so not compare yourself to others. At times I would compare myself to the the teachers I felt judged by and wonder if my kids would be having so many problems if I were more like them. In some cases these teachers were able to come into my class and get my child to listen or obey when I could not, and that made me doubt myself. In subsequent experiences when these teachers had extended supervision of my children, I found out that they couldn't handle them any better than I could. That gave me hope. I realized that giving a command in one instance (when you are an outsider) is a lot easier than being successful in continuously directing a child in the right direction, and so you can't compare the two. Furthermore, just because someone is different than you or has different strengths than you does not make them a better person than you.

3. Because of this time of testing and trial, I now feel so much more confident in my abilities to manage a classroom, discipline, and know where to draw the line with behavioral issues. Now if I feel judged by another teacher, I don't doubt myself, but rather think, "I am doing the best I can, and while I know it is not perfect, it is pretty dang good if I do say so myself!" Trials help you gain confidence and self-awareness.

4. Going through hard times makes normal times seem easier. I don't think I would be so happy about or grateful for my present class if I hadn't experienced a very challenging class beforehand. In addition, eight months ago, the prospect of having 10 kids in my class would have seemed very hard, but now it feels so nice!

5. I have learned how essential the attribute of temperance is in raising children. The ability to be slow to anger or irritation, remain calm amidst chaos, and exercise self-control is absolutely vital in working with children. I have prayed for this ability, and my day goes by so much better when I am temperate. To sum up this important trait, I will write one of my all-time favorite quotes by Goethe:

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make a life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or deescalated and a personal humanized or dehumanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be...we help them become what they are capable of becoming."

This is my motto in teaching preschool. I have learned that if I want to create a good climate in my class, if I want to be an instrument of inspiration, if I want to humor and heal, if I want to be able to deescalate crises, and if I want to treat my children as they ought to be, I have to have the quality of temperance. I believe that because of my experiences with these three children, I am a much more temperate person than I was eight months ago.

If you are still reading this, I am impressed. :) I'll stop now in my celebrations, but I may write more in the future. Until then, Happy Spring!!

Perks of Working with 3 Year Olds

Hugs, high fives, and "I love you"s are a normal part of every day, multiple times a day. And occasionally I also hear, "Ms. Abbi, you're my best friend," or "Ms. Abbi, I like your hair that way."

Funny situations occur frequently which make me laugh out loud, but which rarely sound funny to those to whom I repeat the story.

When the (little) people around me at work make me mad, I'm allowed to give them a piece of my mind.

I get to see incredible growth, learning, and maturity take place within a very short time, such as K* saying with the exact tone, inflection, and facial expression I've used as I've modeled it many times: "That is my spot. Please scoot over" (rather than pushing his friend in the line leader spot). Or G* choosing to share a toy and exclaiming to me, "Ms. Abbi, I'm a peacemaker!"

I have something to look forward to every morning when I go to work: seeing the beautiful and adorable faces of my students, and the way their faces light up when they see me...

Some days I think, "I can't do this, this job just takes too much out of me," but then there are days like today when I feel like I have the best job I could ever ask for!

Just in a Regular Day...

Here are two phrases that I've heard in the last month that have made my eyes go big:

During Centers one afternoon a couple of the boys were playing in the dramatic play area. Here are the usual things they pretend about: being police men giving tickets, going to the store, and going to the "office." Occasionally they will go somewhere exciting like on an airplane or zoo. But this one beats all!
"Ms. Abbi, we're going to go see the porsche." The funniest thing about it was the way he pronounced it: "porsh-uh." Oh dear!

On Wednesday afternoon I was with my class in the art room and they were painting with watercolors. G's dad came to pick him up, but G still wanted to paint, and so G's dad just went to the other side of the room and talked on his cell phone. Here's one phrase I overhead while he was talking, "And what about the settlement for 1.2 million, has that gone through yet?" Yikes!

Lessons from Mary

This is the 100th post of this blog. During the fall I saw that this was coming up, and during autumn time I always get so reminiscent, and so I kept thinking I needed to make my 100th post a list of memories from 100 different places in my life. I even started taking notes and jotted down sixty or so places I have memories from. But alas, autumn has passed and so has New Year's Day, and subsequently I feel much more forward- than backward-looking right now, so I guess I'll have to save that for a "103 Memories" post or something along those lines. :)

But for now I want to talk about lessons I've learned from Mary. During the month of December I thought about Mary a lot. And here's why:

Since graduating from college I have had three different jobs where I have worked closely with young children. I can remember how stressful college was--I always felt this burden of deadlines and work piling up and not being smart or fast enough to do it all in time and do it well. I don't experience that kind of stress anymore, and I am honestly grateful for that, but I do have a different burden I carry with me now--the burden of taking care of children.

This burden can feel so heavy at times and I feel so inadequate to carry it. Some days I come home and think, "I cannot do this. I cannot meet the needs of these children. I cannot give them what they deserve." It is a terrible feeling that I have battled these last two and half years, and I am so grateful for how the Lord has helped me learn how to battle it. But some days it is honestly overwhelming and I worry so much that I have, am, or will fail the children who are counting on me to help them develop their divine potential.

This burden is so different from the burden I carried in college, because my ability to carry it not only affects me, but many other innocent people. In college if I failed, I felt it was a blow to my self-esteem, future schooling possibilities, or efforts I had put in to succeed, but it wasn't like others would suffer if I didn't get an A on a test. But now, if I fail at my work, innocent children suffer. I know that may sound overly dramatic to you, but that's how it feels to me, and it is so real. Even the possibility of it can feel so debilitating and discouraging.

Furthermore, the management at Creme has made it very clear to me that the parents of the children in my class pay a lot of money to ensure that their child does not have any problems. And that responsibility falls on me, their teacher, the person who is with them 8 hours a day, day in and day out. I have been reminded more than once that the parents pay enough money that their child should be well-adjusted, well-mannered, advanced academically, and treated as though they were the only and most important child in the class. It's enough to make a person go bonkers.

And I do, occasionally. I come home thinking, "I cannot do this! I cannot make these children perfect! I just cannot do it!"

And the truth is I'm exactly right. I cannot make these children perfect. And I cannot expect myself to be a perfect teacher. I am going to make mistakes. I am going to lose patience and talk to a child who is driving me crazy in a less than gentle and calm voice. I am going to occasionally have to ignore the needs of some children to attend to the need of another. I am going to teach some lessons that just do not reach the minds or hearts of my children. I am at times going to be focused on something else and fail to intervene in a situation when my children get hurt or hurt each other. I'm sorry, but it's going to happen. As much as I try to never let these things happen, they do.

And that is why the last two and half years have been such a tutorial on applying the Atonement in my life. Since working with children, I have felt such a daily, intense, desperate need for Jesus Christ to save me and the children I work with from the mistakes I make, the weaknesses I have, and the good things I fail to do. When I come home at the end of a hard day, I have to believe that Christ will make up for my weaknesses and protect the children from any real harm, or else I would buckle under the reality that I alone am not enough for these children. I believe that nothing can make you realize your total dependence on the Lord like working with children can.

I am so grateful for the grace of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful that I can rely on Him to make things right when everything goes all wrong, despite my good intentions. I am so grateful that I know that He watches over my children, that He loves them, and that He will heal their wounds and in time make up for whatever I can't provide for them. It is such a gift to know this and be able to feel this at the end of a hard day.

During Christmastime I thought a lot about Mary, because she actually was asked to raise a perfect Child. I thought about the pressure she must have felt to be asked to raise the Savior of the world--I know it must have felt enormous--and I wondered how she handled it. I think she must have handled it beautifully, because in the scriptures, she seems so peaceful and serene about the whole situation. I thought if she were like me, she would have freaked out over the fact that she didn't even have a nice room to bring Jesus into the world in. She would have worried that the stable wasn't good enough, that their ability to give the Savior what He deserved was sub-par and a real disappointment. She would worry that she was failing Him, that she didn't have what it takes (both temporally and spiritually) to raise the Boy who would become the great Redeemer. But I don't get the sense that she felt that way.

And why not? Because she trusted that God was taking care of them, that He was watching over them, that as long as she tried her best, it would be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord. Even a lowly stable. She had faith that no mistake she made was too big for God to fix, to make right, to overcome, and to overshadow. Nothing she did or did not do could prevent the Savior from fulfilling His mission on earth. She had complete and total trust in God and His power to save, and because of that, she had peace and serenity in her heart.

When talking about this with my sister Audra and her husband Mike, he pointed out how even when she forgot Him in Jerusalem (talk about big mistake!), it didn't change the course of things. The mission of the Savior was something much greater than her, and nothing she did or did not do could stop it. And that's what I want to have faith in everyday. The mission of helping these children is so much greater than just me and my works--I am just a small part of the Savior's mission to save and bless their lives. I can and should do all I can to help them, but in the end, it is the Savior who saves them, not me. And I need to have faith in the Savior's power to complete that mission of salvation. It is exciting to be a part of it, and that's how I should see it--exciting, not discouraging.

To all you who work with children, I pray for you to feel this peace in your life. I hope we can all have the faith in our hearts to trust in the Atoning power of Jesus Christ to forgive, heal, and overcome the effects of our mistakes.

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

In working with (or should I say for?) super rich parents at my job at Crème de la Crème, I have learned a few things about wealth and what it can and cannot do for you. I’ve learned that money can:
1. Buy you delusions and for others to act like your delusions are reality.
2. Cause you to invent stupid problems for yourself and those around you.
3. Make you believe that you are the center of the universe.
4. Make your life overly busy, stressful, and complicated.
5. Make you think you need to pretend that you're someone you’re not.
6. Cause you to miss the precious early years of your child’s life.
7. Buy you super nice cars, homes, clothes, vacations, and childcare.
I’ve also learned a few things that money cannot do for you. Unfortunately, money cannot:
1. Make you happy.
2. Buy perfect children (or pay for others to make your children perfect).
3. Make you likable.
4. Erase all your problems.
Just a little food for thought to all who hope to be filthy rich some day...