Regroup!

Yesterday I was reminded of how important it is to regroup when my kids are out of control. When they are all fighting, bouncing off the walls, doing all sorts of things they are not supposed to do, and ignoring all my requests to do otherwise, the best thing to do is REGROUP. I definitely did not do that yesterday in an out-of-control time, and all I ended up accomplishing was feeling like a very mean teacher with some very grumpy students.

Usually, the schoolagers get back in two groups: one at 3:45 and one at 4:00. The first thing they do is sit down for snack and then they can play until we go outside at 4:30. I usually ask them to start cleaning up at around 4:25, and we're out the door by 4:35. That time from 4-4:30 is usually a stressful time of day because they get back from school so hyper, loud, and energetic, and our one little room can only hold so much. But most days it's bearable, and then once we get outside where they can run and yell, it's much easier.

Well, yesterday they all got back from school in one group at 4:11. And from then on I was yelling (you have to yell if you want to be heard over 20 loud kids--that is, unless you REGROUP), "Hurry and eat snack so we can go outside!" "Hurry and clean up so we can go outside!" "I am not the one who made all this mess, so I should not be the only one cleaning it!" "You need to stop ____!" "You cannot be ____!" "You know you're not supposed to ____!" "It's time to go outside, we need to all help clean up!" "Everyone, line up to go outside!"...You get the picture.

So yeah, we didn't get outside until after 4:45, and we have to come inside at 5:00. So of course all the kids complain when I say it's time to go inside that "We just got out here!" To which I snap that it's their fault, if they had just listened and cleaned up when I asked them to, we could have had a lot longer time outside. It was such a beautiful day, they were not the only grumpy ones that we only had ten minutes outside.

Needless to say, I came home feeling like an el-crapo teacher. Which is really unfortunate, because I think I had actually done a pretty good job teaching, explaining, and being patient for the first six hours of the day. But all I could think was, "Why didn't I just regroup!"

If I had just regrouped at 4:20 (when I started to sense that everyone was out of control), then I could have avoided all that nightmare time. I could have had them all come to the carpet where I would calmly and kindly explain the situation to them. I would apologize that we didn't have very much time to play inside today, but since they got back late, we needed to just clean up right away. I would beg them to please please please try to stay under control until we got outside and then they could be as crazy as they wanted to be. I would say the faster we clean up, the faster we can go outside. I would assign them to specific areas to clean up, so everyone knew exactly what they needed to do. And I wouldn't even need to yell one bit. *Sigh* If only... But I am determined to do better next time!

But on to a better story about regrouping, one that is actually a success story, and funny too.

Several times when my kindergartners have seemed to all be fighting with each other, I have had them come to the carpet and I've discussed the situation with them. I ask these questions, with these types of responses from them:
"I am really sad, because I am feeling some yucky feelings in this class. Is anyone else feeling that?" (Yes.)
"Why do you think I am feeling so yucky?" (Because we are all fighting.)
"I want our class to be a place where we can feel good and safe. How do you think we could get rid of these yucky feelings and feel good again?" (Stop fighting and be nice.)
"Do you think that if someone came up to me and stole the toy I was playing with and made me really mad, do you think hitting them back would help us have good feelings in this class?" (No!)
"So if someone came up to me and stole my toy, what could I do about it and still not feel yucky?" (Ask them nicely to give it back, explain that I was playing with it, etc.)
And then at the end of the conversation, I usually say something nice about each student in the class to help bring back good feelings into the class. This technique has worked so well for our class. (A big thanks to Heather W*, Quinn's mom, for demonstrating this approach to me in her home.)

So with that said, you'll understand why this story is cute and funny. Yesterday a little girl in my class came up to me and said the cutest thing. I wish you could see her little concerned face, and know her cute personality behind it. "Ms. Abbi, A* yelled in my face, and now I have yucky feelings." I had to try really hard not to smile at that!

Taught Right

I can tell that one boy in my class has been taught how to treat girls nicely. I'm assuming it's from his dad, who drops him off and picks him up and always makes sure that he gives his little sister a hug and kiss good-bye in the morning. Here's one experience I had this week which made me really appreciate his upbringing:

Every once in a while I will write short notes to my students on the white board. It's good for literacy, and my kids get so excited about having a letter written just to them. I've also found that they love it when I sign my name as something other than "Ms. Abbi."

This week I wrote a note to the whole class, and then I gave each child a turn to have the note be written just to them and from someone other than Ms. Abbi--"Ms. Bones," "Ms. Kitty," "Ms. Grumpy," etc. They thought that was so funny, me signing my name as something I am not.

In the last note I put it as from "Ms. Beautiful." By this point they were primed to laugh at whatever I wrote, and in the spirit of the humor, one of the little girls in my class said laughingly, "Ms. Abbi, you're not beautiful!" To which another little boy responded quite defensively, "Yes she is! Ms. Abbi IS beautiful!"

Now that little boy was taught right! :)

"Nice try, Ms. Abbi"

I brought some of the pictures we took in D.C. into my class to show my students pictures of our nation's capitol. I thought their responses to this picture were cute.

My kindergarteners responded all about the same:

"Ms. Abbi, that picture is so cool! It looks like you're touching it! You're not really touching it, are you?...How did you make it look like you're touching it?"

Here is the response of an 8 year old:

"Nice try, Ms. Abbi, I know you're not a giant!!"

And of a 9 year old:

"Ms. Abbi, I know how you made yourself look as tall as that building. You can't trick me! You just stood really far away. I've done that before." (He seemed quite proud of himself that he knew how I did it. :) )

Group Time

One of the big challenges of teaching is transitions. That is, getting kids to clean up their areas for group time, lunch time, going outside, etc. I have found some ways that work for me to get my kids motivated to come to group time. I love kindergarten because these young kids totally fall for these tactics, whereas I don't think older kids would.

SING TO THEM
-I will sing, "I see Emma, she is sitting, she knows what to do!" The kids come running so I will sing to them that they are sitting and they know what to do!
-I will sing, "I have a friend that we all know, and Emma is her name--Get up and dance! Emma! Get up and dance! Emma! Get up and dance! Emma! And Emma will sit down." They will come running to group time so I will sing for them and they will get a chance to dance, and then at the end of it everyone is sitting down.
-Sometimes when I end the song (I've sung to each child in the class), I will sing it loud or opera-like or silly, and the kids LOVE it! It starts group with a fun feeling and helps everyone to be in a good mood.

REWARD THEM
-I tell them they will get these things if they clean up their toys and sit down for group in a certain amount of time:
-Stickers
-Jelly beans
-More play time
-Get to play "Kitty School." (I don't know why, but my kids love to act like they are cats. It drives me crazy to hear "meow, meow" all day, and so I tell them they can only act like they are cats during "kitty school." This is when during group I say I'm "Ms. Kitty" and I let them act like they are cats as long as they participate. I also call them "Emma Kitty" and "Tyler Kitty" and so forth. We say "meow" a lot during kitty school, but at least I don't have to hear it for the rest of the day.)

COUNTING
-I will say, "I don't think you guys will be able to pick up your toys in 20 seconds. Do you think you can? Okay, let's see. 1-2-..." They will race to be able to beat the 20 second mark.
-Sometimes as simple as, "I want all the toys picked up in 20 seconds. 1-2..." will work (but sometimes it doesn't, and they need more of a motivator).

COMPETING WITH ME
-I will say, "It's almost group time, and I still have to wipe off these tables and sweep the floor. You guys need to clean up your areas. Who will be ready for group time first--me or you?" They will race to get cleaned up because they love to beat Ms. Abbi and say they are the winners.

PLAYING GAMES
-I will start playing a game with the couple of kids who come right to group, and the rest of them will want to join, so they will stop what they're doing and join us.
-One game they love is "guess the person." I describe one of the kids who is sitting on the carpet and they guess who it is. Of course I say really nice things, so the kids will be motivated to come to group and hear nice things about themselves.

GIVE THEM A SCORE
-I will tell them that a 10 is sitting, listening, and participating in group, and a 0 is wrestling, talking, playing, and not listening or participating. I'll say, "I want you to be a 10 the whole time!" During group time if a certain kid or the whole class is having a hard time, I will say, "Remember, I want you to be a 10!" and they will usually want to come back to what they are supposed to be doing. And then at the end I will give them a score, and they love to get a 10!
-I will also grade how nice the room looks after they clean up. I'll say, "Oh, it looks great! This is an A+!" Or "Uh-oh, Home Living is still a mess, I think this room is only a B" or whatever.

Are there any other ideas you've used that work?

"Just Worry About Yourself"

A lot of tattling goes on in kindergarten. A lot. I have found that there are two different types of tattling: 1) tattling to protect oneself or one's friends from hurt or injury, and 2) tattling to get someone else in trouble.

Type 1 Tattling is totally fine with me! I'm happy to tell a kids to stop doing something if they are hurting someone or may potentially hurt someone. Usually I repond to this kind of tattling by saying, "Thank you for telling me" and will go to resolve the situation.

But Type 2 Tattling bugs me. I don't think it's a very healthy attribute to be going around trying to get others in trouble. Every kid in the class does things they are not supposed to and it really is not very nice to go around getting other kids in trouble, when I know that in just a few minutes they won't want anybody going to get them in trouble! Usually I respond to this kind of tattling by saying, "Just worry about yourself, I'm the teacher and I will take care of it." (Most of the time I am already aware of these kinds of situations anyway and have done something outside of the tattler's knowledge to address the issue.)

I've thought a lot about that phrase--"Just worry about yourself." I think that is so true in life. I think that is what Jesus was saying when He said, "Judge not, that ye be not judged" (3 Nephi 14:1). He's saying, don't worry about justice being given to others, just worry about trying your very hardest to apply mercy to everyone. If you don't want others trying to get you to pay for every little infraction you make, don't do the same to others.

I can also imagine Jesus saying to me when I'm thinking about whether or not people who have done bad things will pay for it, "Just worry about yourself, Abbi. I am God and I will take care of it." And really, what a relief to be able to pass that on to someone else (a perfect someone, nonetheless) and not have to worry about it. It's nice that we don't have to figure everything out, we just need to do our best. I am going to try really hard to "just worry about myself" when I'm tempted to think about others' injustices.

New blog

Hello all! I just wanted to let you know that Chad and I have started a new blog. chadandabbi.blogspot.com I thought it would be fun to have a couple blog instead of just a blog of my own. So if you want to hear from us, go there!

Good-bye July!

The last two months of Chad's residency were so busy, that in May and June whenever we'd talk about wanting to do anything fun or productive together, we'd say, "We'll do it in July." It kind of became a joke around our house--we had about a million things that we were going to do "In July." And now I can't believe July is almost over! And although we didn't do everything we had brought up, we sure did a lot!

We visisted my parents in Eugene, had the M* clan over to our home for a pot-luck dinner, went out to eat twice, went out for ice cream once, went to see a movie, went to the Salt Lake temple, went to a BBQ with some friends in the ward, spent an evening with Nate and Michelle at Sundance, went to Lamb Days with family, spent an evening with Dale and Crystal's kids, watched a movie together at home, spent a day in Midway with Joe and Kjirsten, three of their kids, and Adam and Jessie, spent an evening with the C* clan in Centerville, bought a car, Chad went backpacking with his brothers in the Uintas, and we got food storage and medical supplies for our emergency preparedness. Now that is a month well spent!

And August won't be too shabby either, what with the sweet two-week trip Chad has been planning for us. It will include a week of camping in the Grand Teton, Yellowstone, Glacier, and Waterton National Parks and then a week on a cruise to Alaska! What a wonderful summer. I know I've never said this before, but I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet.