My last post was about some of the things I've learned at Creme (some through tears) and so now I think it's time to share some parts of my job that make me laugh! I have one little boy in my class, K, who I absolutely adore, but who also tests me continually. He is the most enthusiastic and affectionate little boy you'll ever meet, but he is also the most high maintenance little boy you'll ever meet. He is always touching, pushing, yelling, making noises, trying to get the people around him to make noises, hugging, laughing really loudly, running, grabbing, banging, provoking the other kids, etc. He makes the kids around him mad all the time, but it's not done maliciously, just in an attempt to make some fun. And because of this, I am continually asking him to stop and asking him to apologize. He is VERY generous with his apologies. He is always so quick to say, "I'm sorry," and to tell his friends reassuringly, "You'll be okay," as though someone else was the cause of their tears. He also tells me every day (sometimes multiple times a day) that he loves me, I'm his best friend, and that I'm beautiful. Have I mentioned I love this kid? :)
So there's the back-up of this funny story. It's about 5:15 pm and K has had an especially hard time controlling himself this day. I'm tired of correcting him, and so when he does the same thing I've just asked him not to do 30 seconds ago, I impatiently say to him, "K, I just asked you not to do that. You have to stop doing that." He looks completely unaffected and proceeds to respond with his quick and obligatory "I'm sorry," and for some reason his cute face, his spirit so resilient to ever feeling defeated or discouraged, his Indian accent as he says "I'm sorry," and everything about the whole day strikes me as so FUNNY. I try really hard not to laugh, but that only makes it burst out all the more when I can't contain it. All the kids immediately look at me surprised and it doesn't take long for them to all join in with me, even though they have no idea what they are laughing about. I have a hard time stopping laughing and the kids have no problem keep right on laughing with me. I think we laughed for a good three to five minutes together. :)
And here's another thing that made me laugh: We're all outside on a beautiful day at about 4:15 pm. One of the kids, R, tells me that he saw me through the looking glass on the playground. I say, "Really? How'd I look?" He puts his head down slightly, tries not to smile, and says, "Great. Great with lipstick on." I tried not to laugh, just to look happy and pleased, but afterwards I laughed really hard about it.
And last one: one of the little girls in my coteacher's class calls me, "Ms. Happy." Every time she calls me that, a smile comes to my soul.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
What I've Learned
When I started this job as a preschool teacher, I decided I didn't want to expect perfection of myself, but instead made a goal for myself to learn something each day and then work on incorporating that thing for the next few days. After 34 days of working there, here are 34 things I've learned (or relearned):
1. Don't be ashamed or afraid to ask for help--when you really need it, swallow your pride and ask for help. People are usually willing and happy to help.
2. When a kid is potty-training, don't say: "Johnny, it's time to go potty," but rather, "Johnny, come with me" and then take him by the hand to the potty, and you'll get a lot less resistance.
3. Know your boundaries and stick by them. When a kid stays within the boundaries, reward him. When a kid steps out of the boundaries, have natural consequences for it.
4. Enjoy and cherish the magic of childhood. Remember that everything is so new to these children and celebrate their discoveries with them. Life is precious and is a gift from God--enjoy it!!
5. Talk to the children, not at them.
6. When a child is not listening to you, physical contact (touching their arm, holding their face, sometimes even just getting close to them) works much better at getting their attention than raising your voice.
7. Focus on the children's interests, feelings, and needs rather than on the rules and expectations of the program.
8. When talking to children, use short, simple, concise, concrete phrases rather than lengthy explanations or directions.
9. Involve the children as much as possible in everything you do.
10. Take time to give rewards (stickers, high-fives, verbal praise by name), and you will thank yourself for it.
11. Make a point of teaching good manners and respect for elders by having them say "yes ma'am" rather than just "yes."
12. Don't ask the children if they can or want to do something, direct them by saying phrases such as "Will you please..." or "I need you to..." or "I want you to..."
13. Play with the children and use that as an incentive for the children. Also, use the kids' desire to be your big helper as an incentive.
14. Focus on the people you serve rather than on whether or not you are doing a good job serving them.
15. The Atonement can make up for your shortcomings. With the help and grace of Jesus Christ, everything that is honestly worked towards is good enough.
16. Relax and focus on quality rather than on quantity. It's better to let things go than to feel stressed and consequently have a tense atmosphere in your class.
17. Logic often fails in working with small children, and so following intution and the Spirit is often the better way to go about helping a small child who is having a hard time.
18. Assume that everyone around you is honestly doing their best with what they have.
19. Children are innocent and need direction, correction, and consequences--not punishment or reprimanding.
20. Losing your patience with difficult children is a temptation that can only be overcome by prayer, fasting, and the Atonement.
21. Give children 3 and 1 minute warnings for times of transition.
22. There is not one "good teacher," so it's pointless to compare yourself to others. Everyone uses their strengths and personality to teach with a different style, and you need to focus on using your strengths and personality to be the best teacher you can be.
23. It's more important what God thinks of how you're doing your job than what management thinks of how you're doing your job. Follow the rules of the organization, but don't be preoccupied with pleasing management.
24. Choosing not to ever speak poorly of a coworker is so worth it. When you are having a hard time with a coworker, seek advice and understanding from the Spirit and outside sources, not another coworker.
25. Priesthood blessings can calm hearts and open the floodgate of revelation.
26. Kids need to know you're the boss and you're in control, or else they will feel their life is out of control and act out.
27. Love never fails--when you feel that all else is failing, seek to express love for the kids.
28. Think of the manual labor involved in raising kids as service rather than drudgery.
29. Physical touch and activity is so important for my class! Hugs, high fives, holding hands, jumping, running--these things are invaluable and must be incorporated into the day for it to go well.
30. Pray for specific things that you and your kids need help with rather than general blessings.
31. When children are upset, give them words for what they are feeling and then offer them a possible plan of action for them to feel better.
32. Sometimes my children will say "I can't do it!" when I ask them to do something. I know they can, but they think they can't. I tell them they have to try and then I will help them. I think that's the way with us and Heavenly Father--if we just try, He will help us, but we have to try.
33. To save your back, bend from the legs--even if you look silly doing it!
34. Encourage the children that they are big and can make good choices rather than emphasizing that they are not making good choices.
Here's to many more lessons to come!
1. Don't be ashamed or afraid to ask for help--when you really need it, swallow your pride and ask for help. People are usually willing and happy to help.
2. When a kid is potty-training, don't say: "Johnny, it's time to go potty," but rather, "Johnny, come with me" and then take him by the hand to the potty, and you'll get a lot less resistance.
3. Know your boundaries and stick by them. When a kid stays within the boundaries, reward him. When a kid steps out of the boundaries, have natural consequences for it.
4. Enjoy and cherish the magic of childhood. Remember that everything is so new to these children and celebrate their discoveries with them. Life is precious and is a gift from God--enjoy it!!
5. Talk to the children, not at them.
6. When a child is not listening to you, physical contact (touching their arm, holding their face, sometimes even just getting close to them) works much better at getting their attention than raising your voice.
7. Focus on the children's interests, feelings, and needs rather than on the rules and expectations of the program.
8. When talking to children, use short, simple, concise, concrete phrases rather than lengthy explanations or directions.
9. Involve the children as much as possible in everything you do.
10. Take time to give rewards (stickers, high-fives, verbal praise by name), and you will thank yourself for it.
11. Make a point of teaching good manners and respect for elders by having them say "yes ma'am" rather than just "yes."
12. Don't ask the children if they can or want to do something, direct them by saying phrases such as "Will you please..." or "I need you to..." or "I want you to..."
13. Play with the children and use that as an incentive for the children. Also, use the kids' desire to be your big helper as an incentive.
14. Focus on the people you serve rather than on whether or not you are doing a good job serving them.
15. The Atonement can make up for your shortcomings. With the help and grace of Jesus Christ, everything that is honestly worked towards is good enough.
16. Relax and focus on quality rather than on quantity. It's better to let things go than to feel stressed and consequently have a tense atmosphere in your class.
17. Logic often fails in working with small children, and so following intution and the Spirit is often the better way to go about helping a small child who is having a hard time.
18. Assume that everyone around you is honestly doing their best with what they have.
19. Children are innocent and need direction, correction, and consequences--not punishment or reprimanding.
20. Losing your patience with difficult children is a temptation that can only be overcome by prayer, fasting, and the Atonement.
21. Give children 3 and 1 minute warnings for times of transition.
22. There is not one "good teacher," so it's pointless to compare yourself to others. Everyone uses their strengths and personality to teach with a different style, and you need to focus on using your strengths and personality to be the best teacher you can be.
23. It's more important what God thinks of how you're doing your job than what management thinks of how you're doing your job. Follow the rules of the organization, but don't be preoccupied with pleasing management.
24. Choosing not to ever speak poorly of a coworker is so worth it. When you are having a hard time with a coworker, seek advice and understanding from the Spirit and outside sources, not another coworker.
25. Priesthood blessings can calm hearts and open the floodgate of revelation.
26. Kids need to know you're the boss and you're in control, or else they will feel their life is out of control and act out.
27. Love never fails--when you feel that all else is failing, seek to express love for the kids.
28. Think of the manual labor involved in raising kids as service rather than drudgery.
29. Physical touch and activity is so important for my class! Hugs, high fives, holding hands, jumping, running--these things are invaluable and must be incorporated into the day for it to go well.
30. Pray for specific things that you and your kids need help with rather than general blessings.
31. When children are upset, give them words for what they are feeling and then offer them a possible plan of action for them to feel better.
32. Sometimes my children will say "I can't do it!" when I ask them to do something. I know they can, but they think they can't. I tell them they have to try and then I will help them. I think that's the way with us and Heavenly Father--if we just try, He will help us, but we have to try.
33. To save your back, bend from the legs--even if you look silly doing it!
34. Encourage the children that they are big and can make good choices rather than emphasizing that they are not making good choices.
Here's to many more lessons to come!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Learning from Failure
I'm back again! After the big move to Atlanta, I've found a job and am now ready to share my fun work stories again. :) I got a job as a preschool teacher at a Creme de la Creme (super high-end day care). It is the nicest day care anyone could imagine. The building is HUGE, with not only different rooms for all the different age groups, but also a gym, ballet studio, tennis court, basketball court, playground, water park, math room, computer room, library, art room, music room, uniform store, reading room, hair-cut salon, fish pond...you get the picture. (Everything is kid-size, but still!) The center of the building is built to look like a French town. Yeah, it's pretty nice.
Monday was my first day. Monday through Thursday I shadowed the teacher I will be replacing, and she was great to show me how things are done. Because everything there is so high quality, they also expect their teachers to do a lot, and so there was (and IS) a lot for me to learn! By Thursday I was starting to feel sufficiently overwhelmed. I started thinking, "What was I thinking that I could do this? I can't do this! I am going to let everyone down--my supervisors, my co-teachers, the kids, the kids' parents. Aaaah!!!"
As much as I wish this was a new thing for me to experience, it is not. In fact, having these feelings was like meeting with a very old and familiar friend (or should I say enemy). All these feelings accompanied me almost constantly as I tried to teach kindergarten at the KinderCare in Salt Lake. I really felt inadequate to the challenges I had there, and although no parent or supervisor complained about me (that I'm aware of), I was always worrying that I wasn't doing a good enough job for the children.
So, alas, here I was on Thursday night, feeling really inadequate and REALLY not looking forward to the companionship of my old enemy. And so I decided I needed to do something about it. So I wrote down all the negative thoughts that were going through my head and then turned to the scriptures for help. I turned to Alma 44, and in this chapter Moroni is talking to his enemy Zerahemnah about how the Lord has helped him (Moroni) overcome him (Zerahemnah). He said in verse 4,
"Now ye see that this is the true faith of God; yea, ye see that God will support, and keep, and preserve us, so long as we are faithful unto him, and unto our faith, and our religion; and never will the Lord suffer that we shall be destroyed except we should fall into transgression and deny our faith."
From that verse, I realized that the Lord will support and keep and preserve me in my efforts to be a good preschool teacher, as long as I continue in my faith in Him. I needed to give up the fear of my inadequacies, and rather accept them as a part of life and turn to the Lord for support, having the faith that he would preserve me (and the kids) despite them. I realized that I was focusing too much on wanting to be amazing, phenomenal, incredible, to the point that I was terrified of mediocrity and paralyzed by the possibility of failure. When really I should embrace the fact that I am just learning, and therefore I probably will fail repeatedly in my efforts to be a perfect teacher. But that's okay, because as long as I stay faithful to the Lord, he will not let my failings destroy me or the children I teach. So instead of being afraid of failure, I should anticipate it and learn from it, including taking advantage of many opportunities to daily apply the Atonement in my life.
Let me tell you, mediocrity never felt so good! On Friday I had such a good day, because I anticipated making lots of mistakes and struggling to meet all the expectations my supervisor has for me. I walked into the room expecting to fail and face it head on! But I also walked into the room knowing that the Lord would support and preserve and keep me through it all, that He was watching over me and the children, that He would help me learn from my failures and not allow me to fail in any way that would really hurt the children. It was like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders.
I'm so glad I've figured this out, but now's the hard part: actually living it! I think I should pray every morning for help to learn from my mistakes, let go of the burden of perfectionism, and increase my faith that Jesus can and will make up for my weaknesses. Wish me luck!
Monday was my first day. Monday through Thursday I shadowed the teacher I will be replacing, and she was great to show me how things are done. Because everything there is so high quality, they also expect their teachers to do a lot, and so there was (and IS) a lot for me to learn! By Thursday I was starting to feel sufficiently overwhelmed. I started thinking, "What was I thinking that I could do this? I can't do this! I am going to let everyone down--my supervisors, my co-teachers, the kids, the kids' parents. Aaaah!!!"
As much as I wish this was a new thing for me to experience, it is not. In fact, having these feelings was like meeting with a very old and familiar friend (or should I say enemy). All these feelings accompanied me almost constantly as I tried to teach kindergarten at the KinderCare in Salt Lake. I really felt inadequate to the challenges I had there, and although no parent or supervisor complained about me (that I'm aware of), I was always worrying that I wasn't doing a good enough job for the children.
So, alas, here I was on Thursday night, feeling really inadequate and REALLY not looking forward to the companionship of my old enemy. And so I decided I needed to do something about it. So I wrote down all the negative thoughts that were going through my head and then turned to the scriptures for help. I turned to Alma 44, and in this chapter Moroni is talking to his enemy Zerahemnah about how the Lord has helped him (Moroni) overcome him (Zerahemnah). He said in verse 4,
"Now ye see that this is the true faith of God; yea, ye see that God will support, and keep, and preserve us, so long as we are faithful unto him, and unto our faith, and our religion; and never will the Lord suffer that we shall be destroyed except we should fall into transgression and deny our faith."
From that verse, I realized that the Lord will support and keep and preserve me in my efforts to be a good preschool teacher, as long as I continue in my faith in Him. I needed to give up the fear of my inadequacies, and rather accept them as a part of life and turn to the Lord for support, having the faith that he would preserve me (and the kids) despite them. I realized that I was focusing too much on wanting to be amazing, phenomenal, incredible, to the point that I was terrified of mediocrity and paralyzed by the possibility of failure. When really I should embrace the fact that I am just learning, and therefore I probably will fail repeatedly in my efforts to be a perfect teacher. But that's okay, because as long as I stay faithful to the Lord, he will not let my failings destroy me or the children I teach. So instead of being afraid of failure, I should anticipate it and learn from it, including taking advantage of many opportunities to daily apply the Atonement in my life.
Let me tell you, mediocrity never felt so good! On Friday I had such a good day, because I anticipated making lots of mistakes and struggling to meet all the expectations my supervisor has for me. I walked into the room expecting to fail and face it head on! But I also walked into the room knowing that the Lord would support and preserve and keep me through it all, that He was watching over me and the children, that He would help me learn from my failures and not allow me to fail in any way that would really hurt the children. It was like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders.
I'm so glad I've figured this out, but now's the hard part: actually living it! I think I should pray every morning for help to learn from my mistakes, let go of the burden of perfectionism, and increase my faith that Jesus can and will make up for my weaknesses. Wish me luck!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
The Power of ONE
One thing I have learned during my time teaching at KinderCare is the power each child has to influence the atmosphere of a class. You add or take away even just one student, and the entire class environment can change. It is really amazing to me. This has become especially apparent to me since one of my kids has stopped coming on Fridays. He is my hardest kid--constantly seeking negative attention, picking fights with other kids, and not responsive to anything I do, positive reinforcement included. Ever since his mom started working four 10 hour shifts Monday through Thursday, every Friday has been SO nice!! Everyone is more at ease, more laid-back, and has an easier time staying on task. I am always amazed at how much we get done, how peaceful our class feels, and how much easier everything is on Friday. And it's just because one kid isn't there. Each one of us really does have such tremendous power to influence those around us, for good or for bad.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Chasing and Changing-It-Up
I have two thoughts I wanted to share tonight:
The first is, I've been thinking lately about how amazing it is that almost all kids LOVE to be chased and never tire of it. I think I could chase my kindergartners around the playground the whole afternoon and they wouldn't get tired of it. But of course I get tired of it! Especially when 10 of them are begging for me to chase them at once and I can only chase one at a time. But it's not just my kindergartners--have you ever tried chasing a little kid who didn't like it? It's the sure-fire way to get a kid to think you're fun. It's amazing to me how simple and predictable it is, and yet how delighted they are by it. I think it's mostly the adult attention they love so much.
And the second is, I've been thinking a lot about what my friend Maegan said the other day. She was talking to me about disciplining kids, and she said something to the extent of, "When something isn't working, you need to try something different! Most of the time it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's something different." I think that's so true. So often trying to discipline kids can feel like banging your head against a wall, but maybe we're the ones banging our heads, and if we just tried something different, the kids would respond better. Like using humor, or responding in a way they wouldn't expect you to, or saying something in an unusual way, or tweaking the consequence you usually use, or just stopping to give them a hug or tell them you love them, or doing something fun you don't usually do. Just doing SOMETHING different. Because then it catches their attention and brings them out of their fit, tantrum, stubbornness, bad mood, defiant attitude, etc.
Recently I've been feeling like my kindergartners are really testing my patience, but as I've been trying to implement this principle, I'm seeing it more in terms of testing my CREATIVITY, FLEXIBILITY, and INNOVATION. How creative can I be in helping them learn what they need to learn and behave like they should behave and snap out of their tantrums? Let me tell you, it's exhausting! And it takes a lot of self-control. But I have to say it beats banging my head against a wall.
So wish me luck in trying to be funny, flexible, innovative, and calm! :) And I wish all you parents out there the same.
The first is, I've been thinking lately about how amazing it is that almost all kids LOVE to be chased and never tire of it. I think I could chase my kindergartners around the playground the whole afternoon and they wouldn't get tired of it. But of course I get tired of it! Especially when 10 of them are begging for me to chase them at once and I can only chase one at a time. But it's not just my kindergartners--have you ever tried chasing a little kid who didn't like it? It's the sure-fire way to get a kid to think you're fun. It's amazing to me how simple and predictable it is, and yet how delighted they are by it. I think it's mostly the adult attention they love so much.
And the second is, I've been thinking a lot about what my friend Maegan said the other day. She was talking to me about disciplining kids, and she said something to the extent of, "When something isn't working, you need to try something different! Most of the time it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's something different." I think that's so true. So often trying to discipline kids can feel like banging your head against a wall, but maybe we're the ones banging our heads, and if we just tried something different, the kids would respond better. Like using humor, or responding in a way they wouldn't expect you to, or saying something in an unusual way, or tweaking the consequence you usually use, or just stopping to give them a hug or tell them you love them, or doing something fun you don't usually do. Just doing SOMETHING different. Because then it catches their attention and brings them out of their fit, tantrum, stubbornness, bad mood, defiant attitude, etc.
Recently I've been feeling like my kindergartners are really testing my patience, but as I've been trying to implement this principle, I'm seeing it more in terms of testing my CREATIVITY, FLEXIBILITY, and INNOVATION. How creative can I be in helping them learn what they need to learn and behave like they should behave and snap out of their tantrums? Let me tell you, it's exhausting! And it takes a lot of self-control. But I have to say it beats banging my head against a wall.
So wish me luck in trying to be funny, flexible, innovative, and calm! :) And I wish all you parents out there the same.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Now that's funny
Today one of my sweetest little girls said the funniest thing. The kids were playing after lunch, and I kept having problems with the boys hurting each other while play-fighting. So I gathered all the boys in front of me and talked to them about how we can't play-fight at school. While I was talking, one of my little girls came over by us and watched me talk to the boys. And then right after I finished my little lecture, she stood in front of all those boys and announced proudly, "I am the hottest person in this class!" I couldn't help but laugh at that, but luckily I don't think any of them noticed. She stuck out her hand and had all the boys feel how hot she was. I have no idea why she was so proud of how warm she was, but I am positive she did this innocently. But just the fact that it was in front of all the boys in the class, I thought it was so funny!!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Never Underestimate the Power of...
Lowering Your Expectations
Hands-on Activities
Rewards (no, not bribery--rewards :) )
Praise
Social Thinking principles
The first three days back from Christmas break were probably the worst days of kindergarten for me yet this year. By Wednesday afternoon I was feeling like I was going to go crazy. I was thinking, "What am I going to do with these kids??!" It was that bad. Just ask my mom--I called her and vented my lights out when I got home from work that day.
But after venting, I was able to sit down and think, "Okay, really, what am I going to do with these kids?" I recently have had a handful of challenging kids added to my class, and so it was good for me to sit down and think about what I needed to do differently to help these kids. And that list up there is what I came up with.
First up, I had to lower my expectations of how much we were able to get done in a day. I needed to focus on QUALITY more than QUANTITY.
Secondly, I decided these kids need more hands-on activities--crafts, sensory stimulation, etc. This is really not my forte, but I'm working on it! Playing with clay, finger painting, making puppets, and playing musical bells are a few things I've tried. If any of you have any easy, fun craft ideas, feel free to pass them on!
Third, I realized these kids needed a little more to motivate them to get work done. I needed to reward them more often and with a wider variety of things. I'm still working on this, too.
Fourth, I needed to praise positive behavior more than give negative attention for negative behavior. And I've found being more exuberant in my praise hasn't hurt either. This is actually something I'm pretty good at already, so that's helpful.
And last but not least, I've applied some of the Social Thinking principles I've learned through working with my kids with autism to my kiddos at school. And it has worked wonders! Thank you, Social Thinking!
And I'm happy to report that the last three days of school have been leaps and bounds better! Wish me luck with the next three! :)
Hands-on Activities
Rewards (no, not bribery--rewards :) )
Praise
Social Thinking principles
The first three days back from Christmas break were probably the worst days of kindergarten for me yet this year. By Wednesday afternoon I was feeling like I was going to go crazy. I was thinking, "What am I going to do with these kids??!" It was that bad. Just ask my mom--I called her and vented my lights out when I got home from work that day.
But after venting, I was able to sit down and think, "Okay, really, what am I going to do with these kids?" I recently have had a handful of challenging kids added to my class, and so it was good for me to sit down and think about what I needed to do differently to help these kids. And that list up there is what I came up with.
First up, I had to lower my expectations of how much we were able to get done in a day. I needed to focus on QUALITY more than QUANTITY.
Secondly, I decided these kids need more hands-on activities--crafts, sensory stimulation, etc. This is really not my forte, but I'm working on it! Playing with clay, finger painting, making puppets, and playing musical bells are a few things I've tried. If any of you have any easy, fun craft ideas, feel free to pass them on!
Third, I realized these kids needed a little more to motivate them to get work done. I needed to reward them more often and with a wider variety of things. I'm still working on this, too.
Fourth, I needed to praise positive behavior more than give negative attention for negative behavior. And I've found being more exuberant in my praise hasn't hurt either. This is actually something I'm pretty good at already, so that's helpful.
And last but not least, I've applied some of the Social Thinking principles I've learned through working with my kids with autism to my kiddos at school. And it has worked wonders! Thank you, Social Thinking!
And I'm happy to report that the last three days of school have been leaps and bounds better! Wish me luck with the next three! :)
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