Enlarging My Mind

Recently I've been contemplating how I often have to think of many things at once at work--several needs to meet, several disasters to avert, several materials to gather or disperse, several children to direct or comfort, several principles to teach, etc, seemingly all at the same time. Some days I feel like my head is running around in circles and might explode any minute. One day, the thought occurred to me, "I need more room in my brain to process everything at once." Upon thinking this, the scriptures Alma 37:8 and Alma 32:28 came to my mind. These scriptures say the word of God enlarges people's memories and their souls. It occurred to me that if I align my life with God's truth, He will help enlarge my mind and heart so there will be enough room for it all.

Understanding Time

My three year olds are just beginning to understand the basic concept of time. But it is so funny to hear how they express their thoughts in relation to time, because they are usually way off. Here are some examples of what my kids have said and what they actually meant.

M*: "My mommy is going to have her baby in 5 minutes!"
Translation: "My mommy is going to have her baby very soon!" (her mom was about 38 weeks along in her pregnancy)

N*: "I went to Mexico yesterday!"
Translation: "I went to Mexico a few months ago!"

G*: "My birthday is tomorrow!"
Translation: "My birthday is in a few weeks!"

N*: "I want my daddy! When will my daddy pick me up?"
Me: "Your daddy will pick you up in about four hours."
N*, with a satisfied expression on his face: "Okay!"
Translation of what N* heard me say: "Your daddy will pick you up soon."

I Love My Baby Ducks

Every 30 minutes at work my kids and I move to a different classroom. This can be a bit tricky to get 8-12 three-year-olds mobilized and walking in a line to the next room, but since we do it so often, the kids are usually pretty good about it. We have a few strict rules with transitioning, and one of them is that my children must always stay behind me in the hallway. I walk backwards in the hallway so as to see my kids at all times as we move from place to place. If I were to lose control and have one of my kids run off where I couldn't supervise him/her, I could lose my job.

One time when we were transitioning to the playground, I noticed that there were some patches of mud between the door of the building and the play area. So I told my kids, "Listen, when we walk outside, we have to pretend that we are a family of ducks. I am the mommy duck and you are all my baby ducks and you have to follow right behind me in a straight line, okay? There's mud outside and I am going to lead you around it, but you have to waddle right behind me." The kids loved pretending they were baby ducks following in my footsteps, and so it worked like a charm. But I didn't think much more of it until later that day, when we were transitioning in our normal every-day way, and my sweet N* said to me, "Ms. Abbi, you're our Mommy Duck and we're your Baby Ducks!" Melt my heart. I think whenever I see a family of ducks in the future, I'll think of my sweet kids at Creme and how they followed me around like a line of baby ducks.

Writing this story made me think of two others I want to record:

Often my kids will try to walk backwards in the hall, pretending they are me, and I have to remind them that only teachers walk backwards in the hall. My kids think they are so funny when they do this, and even though I don't show it to them, I think it's pretty funny too.

One time when my twins A* and A* were new to Creme (and the English language), A* ran off to the nearby computer room as we were all walking into the music room. When I counted all the children in the music room, I started to panic, realizing that I was missing A*. I ran and quickly found him in the computer room, smiling like it was a game. Like I said, this is a very serious matter, and so I told him very firmly, "You cannot do that. Never do that again. You have to stay WITH Ms. Abbi. You have to stay BY Ms. Abbi." When A* saw how upset his running off made me, he was very sorry for what he had done. And you know what he thought I was saying when I said that last sentence? "You have to say, 'Bye, Ms. Abbi.'" Because right after I said that, he said very solemnly to me, waving his hand, "Bye, Ms. Abbi." Hahaha. Oh my sweet A*!

Life is Short

I'm coming up on my one year anniversary of working at Creme. This is the longest I've ever worked full-time in one place before. And it's gone by so fast!

I've been thinking recently about how much my kids have changed in the short 11 months I've been at Creme, and it blows my mind how different they are now than 11 months ago. They've all grown up so much.

And this is even more apparent as I think of the children in the younger classes. There were babies when I started that are now in the 2 year old class! And there are big babies now that weren't even born when I started! Sheesh!

If there's one thing I've learned from working in this profession, it is that babies and young children don't stay babies and young children for long. They grow up so fast. It makes me want to cherish every second I have with these darling, innocent, precious children of mine. The time we have to spend with them in their first five years is really so, so short. It's a lesson I hope to remember when I have children of my own.

Thoughts on Listening

I have a few thoughts on listening, albeit three very different ones. I'll go in order from funniest to most serious.

#1. I am so glad I took the opportunity this morning to ask B* a question and really listen to his answer, because I've been laughing over his response all day. Let me introduce you to B*: he's a sweet, mild-mannered, polite, quiet, calm, good boy.

This morning he'd been riding a rather tall tricycle for his height (and when I say "riding", I mean slowly pushing his feet off the ground while sitting on the bike's seat). And then he says to me, "Ms. Abbi, I'm tired of riding bikes."

When he tells me this, I know that what he means is that he's not enjoying riding his bike, and I wonder what he'll say if I ask him this question: "You're tired? Are your legs tired, or your arms tired?" So, I ask him.

And this is his response, with a rather embarrassed look on his face, "It's hurting my....my....this thing." (And while saying "this thing," he stands up a little on the bike and points to his booty.) Hahaha!!! By divine providence I was able to keep a straight face and suggest he ride a shorter bike, but I've laughed out loud over it multiple times since then.

#2. While driving my 3 minute commute to work today, I listened to "The Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani on the radio. When I turned on my car over 9 hours later to drive home, the same exact song was playing on the same exact radio station. Should I take this to mean something?

#3. Recently I've been thinking a lot about listening to God. Am I really listening to Him, or am I so focused on what I want or what I need to get done that I don't pay attention to what He's trying to teach me or direct me to do? This quote keeps coming to my mind:

"The object of our prayers should not be to present a wish list or a series of requests but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is eager to bestow, according to His will and timing. Every sincere prayer is heard and answered by our Heavenly Father, but the answers we receive may not be what we expect or come to us when we want or in the way we anticipate."
-Elder David A. Bednar, "Ask in Faith," Ensign, May 2008

This quote makes me think about my kids--they are usually all too eager to "present wish lists and series of requests" to me, but they are not so eager to listen to me and do what I ask them to do. Frequently throughout my days I try to motivate my children to listen, ask my children to listen, remind them to listen, command them to LISTEN!! :) Some days I get exasperated over how they do not listen to me, and I wonder if that's how Heavenly Father feels sometimes. I think, "If they'd just listen to me, this whole experience would be sooooo much better!" And then I wonder if God thinks the same thing in regards to me sometimes.

So this is my new goal: to listen to God as attentively as I would like my children to listen to me.

I love my job

I know I keep saying this, but I am so happy at work! After 10 months in my position, I feel like I have a lot of stuff figured out and I'm feeling confident in my role. It's a good feeling. If only I could feel like this with all the other parts of my life... :)

But anyhow, I wanted to share two things that made me happy last week. One was when I was reading Eric Carle's book "1, 2, 3 to the Zoo" to my kids. It's a book about animals riding in a train to a zoo. On the first page, 1 elephant is in a train car, on the second page 2 hippos, and so on. The last page is of all the animals at the zoo (1 elephant, 2 hippos, 3 giraffes, etc.)

While looking at this page of the zoo, that same blonde mentioned in my last post asked, "Why is there just a mommy elephant? Why isn't there a daddy elephant?" I said, "That's a good question. What do you think happened to the daddy elephant? Where did he go?" To which another little girl in the class enthusiastically responded, as though very proud to know the answer to the question, "At the office!!"

And the second thing that has made me very happy not just last week but for the last several weeks is what many of my children keep themselves busy with during our outside time. They walk around searching for "flowers" in the grass. These flowers are actually weeds, but if you look close enough, you can see there are tiny little blossoms in them. I would never have noticed all these tiny colorful blossoms, but my children do!

There are white, yellow, pink, and purple "flowers." They pick a handful of these blossoms and then bring them to me, proudly giving me flowers. And I have to say that close up, these blossoms are very pretty! I am so lucky to be given flowers every day! And I try to show my kids how much I appreciate their kindness.

I love how children see beauty all around them. Beauty that most adults overlook, are too busy to notice, or are too practical to appreciate. These flowers have brought so much joy to my life, and I am so grateful for my children for helping me notice and appreciate the beauty around me.

Today's Funniest Moment

I'm reading a book to 12 three-year-olds about our bodies, and before the page about our brains, I ask the children, "What's inside your head?" After much probing, I realize none of them know. So I tell them that their brains are inside their heads and that they use their brains to think. One of my students, a beautiful girl with blonde hair and big gray eyes raises her hand and says very innocently and emphatically, "But Ms. Abbi, I don't have a brain!" Hahaha.

It was one of those moments when I couldn't keep myself from laughing out loud really hard. And so of course many other students join in happily, "Ms. Abbi, I don't have a brain!" Oh dear.

So I get myself together and say very seriously that everyone has a brain and without a brain we couldn't think or do all of the many things we do at school. But my blonde girl wouldn't have anything of it, she insisted that she did NOT have a brain. She said, "Ms. Abbi, I can think without a brain!" I finally had to drop it. I still don't know why she was so adamant that she did not have a brain. I'm glad about it though, because it made me laugh inside even after I had changed the subject.

"My Brother"

I have twin boys in my class that I absolutely adore. They are so sweet to each other and to the other students in the class. I am so glad they are in my class because I love them soooo much!! They come from a great family--their parents and older brother are all so polite, respectful, and kind. I have been so impressed by the fact that these twins never fight with each other like you would expect brothers to fight. And to the contrary, they often help each other. Today I witnessed a very touching moment of them today that I wanted to share.

During circle time all the children sit on carpet squares. Sometimes it's a struggle for them to stay sitting on their carpet square for the whole 10-15 minutes, and so their favorite part is Weather, when one of them gets to walk over to the window to see what the weather is and then tell the class. It's a real treat to be able to get off your carpet square! :) The way I pick on a child to do this is by singing this song:

"Oh dear, what will the weather be?
Oh dear, what will the weather be?
Oh dear, what will the weather be?
[Enter name here], what will the weather be?"

When I start singing this song, all the children sit so nicely because they want me to pick on them. And after I say the name, there is always an immediate chorus of "Why didn't you pick ME?!"s and "Ms. Abbi, you didn't pick ME!!"s. And every day I have to tell the children that only one person gets to do the weather each day, and they will have their turn a different day.

Well today for weather I picked one of the twins, and right after I said the name, before any of the other children could even start complaining, the other twin brother punched his hand into the air in celebration and said with glee, "YES! MY BROTHER!" He was clearly extremely happy that his brother was picked for this special assignment.

That really touched me. It was a very powerful example to me of charity and selflessness. A* was able to forget himself for a moment and take joy in his brother's happiness, even when it meant that he was deprived of something he very much wanted. He wasn't thinking in terms of "me," he was thinking in terms of his brother. His brother's happiness was his happiness.

How difficult that can be for us, children and adults alike! We so often feel envious, resentful, or threatened by the success or good fortune of those around us. But we don't need to be. We can be like A* and think in terms of our brothers and sisters rather than ourselves. Their happiness can be our happiness. And because we are all part of God's family, we can exclaim like A*, "Yes! My brother!" (or sister) whenever someone around us is blessed or succeeds. I want to be more like A* and be able to say this easily and from the heart as he so evidently can.

Expressing Love

I have been counting my blessings this week, because I have so many. My heart is overwhelmed by the love I feel for my kids and the love I feel from them. It is one of the most amazing blessings in my life. In my previous jobs there was a policy against saying, "I love you," but there is no policy against that phrase at my current job. And what a difference it makes in my day!! Some of my kids are so good at saying, "I love you, Ms. Abbi" and they will say that to me at the most random times of the day. I love it and try to show them how much I appreciate it when they tell me that. And I try to tell my kids often how much I love them as well. My life is beautiful because of this, that we frequently and openly express love for one another. These three words have a powerful affect on an environment when they are used often. I am so grateful for my kids and the love I feel when I'm with them. I am blessed beyond measure.

Laugh Out Loud

Like I've said before, my kids make me laugh out loud every day by the things they say and do. I love it. Most things don't sound very funny to those who don't know the kids, but this week I've had two conversations that I thought you might appreciate, even without knowing the kids.

My coteacher is on vacation this week, and so I've had her schedule: 7-4. (I usually have the 9 to 6 shift.) I have love love loved having the 7-4 shift!! It is oh so nice. This morning I had an average of 2 kids between 7 and 9. Compare that with the average of 10 kids I usually have between 4 and 6 in the evening!

Anyhow, at one point this morning the two kids in my class were I* (girl) and G* (boy). They were both playing pretend, when out of the blue I* has the idea to pretend that they are getting married. G* goes along with it for a minute or so until I* holds her hands out to him and says, "Come on, G*, let's dance." G* says, "No." I ask G* why he won't dance with her. He says, "Because I'm Iron Man!" I ask him why Iron Man can't dance. He says, "Because Iron Man is a superhero!" I say, "Well, sometimes superheroes dance." And he says emphatically, "And sometimes they don't." Hahaha!

And yesterday in the hallway I told the kids we were going to drop something off at the kitchen. A*, one of my Korean kids who is just learning English, says, "Ms. Abbi, I like cooking!" I ask him if he likes cooking with his mom and dad. He says yes and this makes another child remember and say, "My dad likes chocolate!" To which another child says, "My dad likes white chocolate!" And then A*, my Korean kid, says, "My mommy likes pink chocolate!" So cute!

International Life

Last week at Creme we celebrated the "Week of the Young Child." (One of my coworkers totally made me laugh by saying, "What about the 'Week of the Old Lady?'") We had face painting, a visit from the fire truck, we released balloons into the sky, had a Trike-a-Thon to raise money for St. Jude's Children's Hospital, and there was a book fair at school all week. That is one of my favorite parts of working at Creme--there is always something exciting going on, whether it's associated with a birthday, holiday, or something else we are celebrating. It definitely keeps us busy and on our toes! :)

One of these exciting things I've been wanting to write about is our annual "International Week." We had it in February and it was so so so much fun! Our area is very diverse and so we had lots of backgrounds to celebrate! Out of my 10 kids, the parents of 2 are from Korea, 2 from India, 2 from Puerto Rico, 1 from Lebanon, 1 from Denmark, and 2 from the US. 5 of my kids are bilingual. In our staff 1 is from Jamaica, 1 from Denmark, 1 from Panama, 2 from El Salvador, 1 from Mexico, and 1 from Uzbekistan. I love it! I love all the accents at work, and sometimes I notice myself saying certain words with the accents of the people around me (including the southern accents :) ).

During International Week each class represented a country with decorations, flags, and learning activities. We were Denmark (my coteacher is Danish). Each child had a "passport" that they used to visit the other "countries" and learn about them throughout the week. The school hired dancers, musicians, and a story-teller to visit our school to perform for the kids. We had multiple "Parade of Flags" where each class walked around waving their class's flag. And the best part was the International Night when the kids and parents dressed up in their cultural dress, brought international food, and everyone ate and walked around the school to see the different countries' displays. It was so fun!

And in a similar vein, our neighborhood is very diverse. Our neighbors are from India, Nigeria, Sri Lanka, and Korea. I think we may be the only white American people on our street! :) We look forward to getting to know our neighbors better, they all seem really nice. We've been seeing more of them since the weather has gotten nicer in the last couple months. We love going on walks together around our neighborhood in the evenings. Life is good.

P.S. I have the best class in the history of my teaching career. I love my kids so much and look forward to being with them every day. They are so sweet, cute, good, smart, and funny. My life is good!

Story Time

One of my favorite parts of teaching preschool is making up stories for the kids. Occasionally my stories disappoint, and the kids get disinterested. But other times I can get them to stare wide-eyed at me in anticipation of what's going to come next in the story, and that is sooo fun! It's also fun to try to come up with morals to my stories. The kids usually ask for scary stories, and so I include things like dragons, witches, princesses, jaguars, dungeons, etc in them.

On Monday night this week I had one of those days when I had all the kids' full attention with a story I was making up. Because of this, I tried to drag the story on a little in order to keep the peace in the classroom. It was at least a ten minute story. I didn't think much of it until Wednesday night, when a five-year-old girl that had been in my class on Monday night asked me to tell her a story. I was tired and not exactly in the story-telling mood, and so I said, "I know, how about you tell me a story tonight!" She protested, but eventually gave in and started telling a story.

Well, to my complete and utter amazement, she proceeded to retell the exact story I made up on Monday night!! She remembered the sequence of events, the characters, the wording, and even the gestures I had used when I had told the story! It was jaw-dropping. I don't know if I could have recalled it as well as she did. Here are some words she had remembered me using: kingdom, Greetings!, Bengal tiger, sleeping potion, China (actually, I had used the word "Asia," but still!). I was amazed!

It was so cute to see her tell this story with such excitement and enthusiasm, and it was one of those times when you feel rewarded for what you do.

Trials Make the Heart Grow Stronger

You all know the adage, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Well, I've tweaked that phrase a bit to say, "Trials make the heart grow stronger."

I have had three extremely challenging children in my class over the last eight months, all three of which are no longer in my class. I cannot tell you how grateful and happy I am about this fact! It feels so nice to know that tomorrow most likely none of my children will hit, scream, yell, kick, throw toys, or continually and intentionally try to annoy their classmates or me. I have not had that luxury over the last few months, but now I do, and I am so grateful for it.

This has been such a happy Easter weekend for me as I've looked back over the last 8 months and what I have learned from these three children. Because of the Atonement and Resurrection of Christ, I am able to learn, grow, and progress because of trials rather than be defeated by them. Here is a celebration of 5 ways trials have blessed my life:

1. I have learned how important it is to try really hard to not judge parents or teachers by the behavior of their children. At times I felt judged by my coworkers for the outbursts or behavioral problems of my children, and it was really hard to not feel guilty or down on myself during these times. I am so grateful for a boss that assured me that I was a good teacher despite my kids' problems. On one especially hard day she could tell that I was feeling really down and she said to me firmly, "Do not let this get to your head. You are a good teacher. His problems are not your fault. Don't go there." That meant so much to me. Don't judge. You really don't know what these parents/teachers are going through.

2. I have also learned how important it is so not compare yourself to others. At times I would compare myself to the the teachers I felt judged by and wonder if my kids would be having so many problems if I were more like them. In some cases these teachers were able to come into my class and get my child to listen or obey when I could not, and that made me doubt myself. In subsequent experiences when these teachers had extended supervision of my children, I found out that they couldn't handle them any better than I could. That gave me hope. I realized that giving a command in one instance (when you are an outsider) is a lot easier than being successful in continuously directing a child in the right direction, and so you can't compare the two. Furthermore, just because someone is different than you or has different strengths than you does not make them a better person than you.

3. Because of this time of testing and trial, I now feel so much more confident in my abilities to manage a classroom, discipline, and know where to draw the line with behavioral issues. Now if I feel judged by another teacher, I don't doubt myself, but rather think, "I am doing the best I can, and while I know it is not perfect, it is pretty dang good if I do say so myself!" Trials help you gain confidence and self-awareness.

4. Going through hard times makes normal times seem easier. I don't think I would be so happy about or grateful for my present class if I hadn't experienced a very challenging class beforehand. In addition, eight months ago, the prospect of having 10 kids in my class would have seemed very hard, but now it feels so nice!

5. I have learned how essential the attribute of temperance is in raising children. The ability to be slow to anger or irritation, remain calm amidst chaos, and exercise self-control is absolutely vital in working with children. I have prayed for this ability, and my day goes by so much better when I am temperate. To sum up this important trait, I will write one of my all-time favorite quotes by Goethe:

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make a life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or deescalated and a personal humanized or dehumanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be...we help them become what they are capable of becoming."

This is my motto in teaching preschool. I have learned that if I want to create a good climate in my class, if I want to be an instrument of inspiration, if I want to humor and heal, if I want to be able to deescalate crises, and if I want to treat my children as they ought to be, I have to have the quality of temperance. I believe that because of my experiences with these three children, I am a much more temperate person than I was eight months ago.

If you are still reading this, I am impressed. :) I'll stop now in my celebrations, but I may write more in the future. Until then, Happy Spring!!

Perks of Working with 3 Year Olds

Hugs, high fives, and "I love you"s are a normal part of every day, multiple times a day. And occasionally I also hear, "Ms. Abbi, you're my best friend," or "Ms. Abbi, I like your hair that way."

Funny situations occur frequently which make me laugh out loud, but which rarely sound funny to those to whom I repeat the story.

When the (little) people around me at work make me mad, I'm allowed to give them a piece of my mind.

I get to see incredible growth, learning, and maturity take place within a very short time, such as K* saying with the exact tone, inflection, and facial expression I've used as I've modeled it many times: "That is my spot. Please scoot over" (rather than pushing his friend in the line leader spot). Or G* choosing to share a toy and exclaiming to me, "Ms. Abbi, I'm a peacemaker!"

I have something to look forward to every morning when I go to work: seeing the beautiful and adorable faces of my students, and the way their faces light up when they see me...

Some days I think, "I can't do this, this job just takes too much out of me," but then there are days like today when I feel like I have the best job I could ever ask for!

Just in a Regular Day...

Here are two phrases that I've heard in the last month that have made my eyes go big:

During Centers one afternoon a couple of the boys were playing in the dramatic play area. Here are the usual things they pretend about: being police men giving tickets, going to the store, and going to the "office." Occasionally they will go somewhere exciting like on an airplane or zoo. But this one beats all!
"Ms. Abbi, we're going to go see the porsche." The funniest thing about it was the way he pronounced it: "porsh-uh." Oh dear!

On Wednesday afternoon I was with my class in the art room and they were painting with watercolors. G's dad came to pick him up, but G still wanted to paint, and so G's dad just went to the other side of the room and talked on his cell phone. Here's one phrase I overhead while he was talking, "And what about the settlement for 1.2 million, has that gone through yet?" Yikes!

Lessons from Mary

This is the 100th post of this blog. During the fall I saw that this was coming up, and during autumn time I always get so reminiscent, and so I kept thinking I needed to make my 100th post a list of memories from 100 different places in my life. I even started taking notes and jotted down sixty or so places I have memories from. But alas, autumn has passed and so has New Year's Day, and subsequently I feel much more forward- than backward-looking right now, so I guess I'll have to save that for a "103 Memories" post or something along those lines. :)

But for now I want to talk about lessons I've learned from Mary. During the month of December I thought about Mary a lot. And here's why:

Since graduating from college I have had three different jobs where I have worked closely with young children. I can remember how stressful college was--I always felt this burden of deadlines and work piling up and not being smart or fast enough to do it all in time and do it well. I don't experience that kind of stress anymore, and I am honestly grateful for that, but I do have a different burden I carry with me now--the burden of taking care of children.

This burden can feel so heavy at times and I feel so inadequate to carry it. Some days I come home and think, "I cannot do this. I cannot meet the needs of these children. I cannot give them what they deserve." It is a terrible feeling that I have battled these last two and half years, and I am so grateful for how the Lord has helped me learn how to battle it. But some days it is honestly overwhelming and I worry so much that I have, am, or will fail the children who are counting on me to help them develop their divine potential.

This burden is so different from the burden I carried in college, because my ability to carry it not only affects me, but many other innocent people. In college if I failed, I felt it was a blow to my self-esteem, future schooling possibilities, or efforts I had put in to succeed, but it wasn't like others would suffer if I didn't get an A on a test. But now, if I fail at my work, innocent children suffer. I know that may sound overly dramatic to you, but that's how it feels to me, and it is so real. Even the possibility of it can feel so debilitating and discouraging.

Furthermore, the management at Creme has made it very clear to me that the parents of the children in my class pay a lot of money to ensure that their child does not have any problems. And that responsibility falls on me, their teacher, the person who is with them 8 hours a day, day in and day out. I have been reminded more than once that the parents pay enough money that their child should be well-adjusted, well-mannered, advanced academically, and treated as though they were the only and most important child in the class. It's enough to make a person go bonkers.

And I do, occasionally. I come home thinking, "I cannot do this! I cannot make these children perfect! I just cannot do it!"

And the truth is I'm exactly right. I cannot make these children perfect. And I cannot expect myself to be a perfect teacher. I am going to make mistakes. I am going to lose patience and talk to a child who is driving me crazy in a less than gentle and calm voice. I am going to occasionally have to ignore the needs of some children to attend to the need of another. I am going to teach some lessons that just do not reach the minds or hearts of my children. I am at times going to be focused on something else and fail to intervene in a situation when my children get hurt or hurt each other. I'm sorry, but it's going to happen. As much as I try to never let these things happen, they do.

And that is why the last two and half years have been such a tutorial on applying the Atonement in my life. Since working with children, I have felt such a daily, intense, desperate need for Jesus Christ to save me and the children I work with from the mistakes I make, the weaknesses I have, and the good things I fail to do. When I come home at the end of a hard day, I have to believe that Christ will make up for my weaknesses and protect the children from any real harm, or else I would buckle under the reality that I alone am not enough for these children. I believe that nothing can make you realize your total dependence on the Lord like working with children can.

I am so grateful for the grace of Jesus Christ. I am so grateful that I can rely on Him to make things right when everything goes all wrong, despite my good intentions. I am so grateful that I know that He watches over my children, that He loves them, and that He will heal their wounds and in time make up for whatever I can't provide for them. It is such a gift to know this and be able to feel this at the end of a hard day.

During Christmastime I thought a lot about Mary, because she actually was asked to raise a perfect Child. I thought about the pressure she must have felt to be asked to raise the Savior of the world--I know it must have felt enormous--and I wondered how she handled it. I think she must have handled it beautifully, because in the scriptures, she seems so peaceful and serene about the whole situation. I thought if she were like me, she would have freaked out over the fact that she didn't even have a nice room to bring Jesus into the world in. She would have worried that the stable wasn't good enough, that their ability to give the Savior what He deserved was sub-par and a real disappointment. She would worry that she was failing Him, that she didn't have what it takes (both temporally and spiritually) to raise the Boy who would become the great Redeemer. But I don't get the sense that she felt that way.

And why not? Because she trusted that God was taking care of them, that He was watching over them, that as long as she tried her best, it would be acceptable and pleasing to the Lord. Even a lowly stable. She had faith that no mistake she made was too big for God to fix, to make right, to overcome, and to overshadow. Nothing she did or did not do could prevent the Savior from fulfilling His mission on earth. She had complete and total trust in God and His power to save, and because of that, she had peace and serenity in her heart.

When talking about this with my sister Audra and her husband Mike, he pointed out how even when she forgot Him in Jerusalem (talk about big mistake!), it didn't change the course of things. The mission of the Savior was something much greater than her, and nothing she did or did not do could stop it. And that's what I want to have faith in everyday. The mission of helping these children is so much greater than just me and my works--I am just a small part of the Savior's mission to save and bless their lives. I can and should do all I can to help them, but in the end, it is the Savior who saves them, not me. And I need to have faith in the Savior's power to complete that mission of salvation. It is exciting to be a part of it, and that's how I should see it--exciting, not discouraging.

To all you who work with children, I pray for you to feel this peace in your life. I hope we can all have the faith in our hearts to trust in the Atoning power of Jesus Christ to forgive, heal, and overcome the effects of our mistakes.

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

In working with (or should I say for?) super rich parents at my job at Crème de la Crème, I have learned a few things about wealth and what it can and cannot do for you. I’ve learned that money can:
1. Buy you delusions and for others to act like your delusions are reality.
2. Cause you to invent stupid problems for yourself and those around you.
3. Make you believe that you are the center of the universe.
4. Make your life overly busy, stressful, and complicated.
5. Make you think you need to pretend that you're someone you’re not.
6. Cause you to miss the precious early years of your child’s life.
7. Buy you super nice cars, homes, clothes, vacations, and childcare.
I’ve also learned a few things that money cannot do for you. Unfortunately, money cannot:
1. Make you happy.
2. Buy perfect children (or pay for others to make your children perfect).
3. Make you likable.
4. Erase all your problems.
Just a little food for thought to all who hope to be filthy rich some day...